I've been doing a lot of wishing lately...
Wishing I had a house, with a garage, and my own washer/dryer. Wishing I had more income and fewer expenses. Wishing my family were close by.
But then I forced myself to focus instead on all the blessings I enjoy now that I didn't just a little while ago...
An amazing husband. A baby on the way. An on-site laundry facility (no more laundromat, woohoo!). A dependable car. Zero debt (okay, aside from my college loan). Tons of great friends and mentors in close proximity. Even a hot shower and running water are luxuries I used to go without.
I didn't change my circumstances, but I sure changed my outlook and mood.
"Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life."
-Proverbs 4:23 (NCV)
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Monday, October 12, 2015
Let them merge (an outward bound life)
Human beings have a tendency to live inward bound lives*, thinking mostly of our needs and desires and using our time and resources to get them met. But we won't experience true joy unless we live an outward bound life, putting God and others before ourselves.
The Bible commands it:
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).
The Bible commands it:
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).
"As we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..." (Galatians 6:10).
Jesus sets the example:
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).
God blesses us so we can be a blessing to others (Genesis 12:2).
God comforts us so we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Paul gives this promise to the Philippian church: "My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). This promise comes, however, as a response to the believers' selfless generosity to provide for Paul's needs.
Another place in the Bible makes this connection: "Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to poverty will be cursed" (Proverbs 28:27).
God gives us everything we need, not in order to be happy and comfortable, but in order to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3). A godly life is one characterized by love for God and others.
God gives us the desires of our heart, not because we beg for them and depend on them for our happiness, but because our delight is in Him (Psalm 37:4).
He gives us His favor and makes us secure, not just for our own benefit, but so others may know that He has blessed us, that they may come to Him (Isaiah 60-61).
Our blessings are a responsibility: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48).
This kind of thinking is the complete opposite of human nature. The more we get, the more we want. If we don't make a conscious decision every day and every moment to live outward bound, we will default to living for ourselves.
Take, for example, driving. In Long Island we drive on the offensive, always trying to be the first to cut into traffic but not ever letting anyone merge in front of us. It seems like this is the only way to survive here, with so many cars on the road, and so many drivers on a mission to be first and fastest.
But I noticed when driving with my husband that he would often stop and signal for another driver to turn onto the road in front of him because there was no sign of a gap in the cars behind him. I was touched by these acts of generosity and decided to change my habits. It took some getting used to, but I am now more cognizant of situations where, if I were the other driver, I would really appreciate being waved into traffic. Occasionally the drivers behind me get upset that I slowed down for two seconds, but I'd rather be kind to the one driver who needs some grace than make sure that the many who are driving "inward bound" don't get offended.
Maybe being a considerate driver comes more naturally to you... maybe you're from the South where everyone is more relaxed ;-) There is surely some aspect of your life that is focused inwards where you could make an intentional decision to widen your perspective. Maybe it's where your money goes, how you spend your time, or how you choose your words. Maybe you just need to learn to be okay with letting someone else think that they are right.
Our blessings are a responsibility: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48).
This kind of thinking is the complete opposite of human nature. The more we get, the more we want. If we don't make a conscious decision every day and every moment to live outward bound, we will default to living for ourselves.
Take, for example, driving. In Long Island we drive on the offensive, always trying to be the first to cut into traffic but not ever letting anyone merge in front of us. It seems like this is the only way to survive here, with so many cars on the road, and so many drivers on a mission to be first and fastest.
But I noticed when driving with my husband that he would often stop and signal for another driver to turn onto the road in front of him because there was no sign of a gap in the cars behind him. I was touched by these acts of generosity and decided to change my habits. It took some getting used to, but I am now more cognizant of situations where, if I were the other driver, I would really appreciate being waved into traffic. Occasionally the drivers behind me get upset that I slowed down for two seconds, but I'd rather be kind to the one driver who needs some grace than make sure that the many who are driving "inward bound" don't get offended.
Maybe being a considerate driver comes more naturally to you... maybe you're from the South where everyone is more relaxed ;-) There is surely some aspect of your life that is focused inwards where you could make an intentional decision to widen your perspective. Maybe it's where your money goes, how you spend your time, or how you choose your words. Maybe you just need to learn to be okay with letting someone else think that they are right.
"When you get to a place where you don't go for what you can get, but you go for what you can give, you're gonna see your life change tremendously."
-Eric Thomas
-Eric Thomas
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*terminology taken from my pastor, Bert Crabbe, of True North Community Church
Friday, September 4, 2015
True Joy
People say that if you follow Jesus, you will be blessed. I agree. I just think it's important to note that our idea of blessing and God's idea of blessing don't always match up.
We say: "I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
We think: I can get that job, win this game, finish this project, accomplish my dreams.
But the context says this statement is about finding contentment whether or not things go our way:
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13).
Jesus says: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
We think: A full life means a happy family, a nice house, two cars, money in the bank.....
But the rest of the Bible says that true life is living for Someone greater than yourself:
"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again" (2 Corinthians 5:15).
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?' " (Mark 8:34-36).
We read: "You will fill me with joy in your presence" (Proverbs 10:28).
We think: Jesus fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling and gives me a happy life, taking my problems away.
But the rest of the Bible says that joy is based on our hope that God is good and everything will be worked together for good in some way, whether during this life or the next.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance" (Romans 5:3).
"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while" (1 Peter 1:6).
"We never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever" (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
Paul describe his life as a faithful believer in this way: "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything" (2 Corinthians 6:10).
Yes, God blesses us with strength, life, and joy, but it doesn't always look like what we think it will.
Here are some insightful thoughts by another blogger on this topic: 4 Things Jesus Didn't Die For
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
-Isaiah 55:8-9
We say: "I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
We think: I can get that job, win this game, finish this project, accomplish my dreams.
But the context says this statement is about finding contentment whether or not things go our way:
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13).
Jesus says: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
We think: A full life means a happy family, a nice house, two cars, money in the bank.....
But the rest of the Bible says that true life is living for Someone greater than yourself:
"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again" (2 Corinthians 5:15).
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?' " (Mark 8:34-36).
We read: "You will fill me with joy in your presence" (Proverbs 10:28).
We think: Jesus fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling and gives me a happy life, taking my problems away.
But the rest of the Bible says that joy is based on our hope that God is good and everything will be worked together for good in some way, whether during this life or the next.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance" (Romans 5:3).
"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while" (1 Peter 1:6).
"We never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever" (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
Paul describe his life as a faithful believer in this way: "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything" (2 Corinthians 6:10).
Yes, God blesses us with strength, life, and joy, but it doesn't always look like what we think it will.
Here are some insightful thoughts by another blogger on this topic: 4 Things Jesus Didn't Die For
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
-Isaiah 55:8-9
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Wedding day disaster
Just as we experience actual troubles in life that are too much for us to bear alone (see previous post), we also experience worries - troubles that we rehearse in our minds - which engulf us if we don't release the burden to God.
I do this all the time. I think about what could happen, and I try to control the circumstances in my life to make things turn out the way I want. Yet: "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9).
I'm reminded of my wedding. I put a year of planning and tons of effort into making it a great day. But only hours before the wedding ceremony, we found out that our caterer wasn't going to show up. Now when I say "we", I actually mean every single person but me. Thank God they didn't let me find out, because it would have been too much for me to handle.
So often I want to know what is going to happen, and I want to have my plans set, but if I really knew what the future held, or what all the underlying problems were, it would be too much for me to bear in the moment.
As I was getting ready to walk down the aisle and say "I do", and then while I was busy taking pictures to commemorate the day, I had no idea that my mom, my wedding planner, my brother's girlfriend, my dad's cousin, an old friend from my youth group days, and so many more people were hurriedly pulling strings and making things come together.
By the time I got to the reception, there were hors d'oeuvres, a main course, dishes, and silverware. And I had no idea there was a problem until it was already solved.
It's when things go wrong that I'm reminded of the goodness in people - in friends and family who help and encourage me, and in complete strangers who are willing to stop what they are doing and reach out.
When I think about what could go wrong is when I try to control every situation and make sure my plans are accomplished. When things actually do go wrong is when I realize that I have no control, and I need to trust in God's goodness to sustain me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur." -Sarah Young
"Worry robs us of our confidence that God notices and cares about the details of our lives." -Renee Swope
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head." -Psalm 139:1-5
I do this all the time. I think about what could happen, and I try to control the circumstances in my life to make things turn out the way I want. Yet: "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9).
I'm reminded of my wedding. I put a year of planning and tons of effort into making it a great day. But only hours before the wedding ceremony, we found out that our caterer wasn't going to show up. Now when I say "we", I actually mean every single person but me. Thank God they didn't let me find out, because it would have been too much for me to handle.
So often I want to know what is going to happen, and I want to have my plans set, but if I really knew what the future held, or what all the underlying problems were, it would be too much for me to bear in the moment.
As I was getting ready to walk down the aisle and say "I do", and then while I was busy taking pictures to commemorate the day, I had no idea that my mom, my wedding planner, my brother's girlfriend, my dad's cousin, an old friend from my youth group days, and so many more people were hurriedly pulling strings and making things come together.
By the time I got to the reception, there were hors d'oeuvres, a main course, dishes, and silverware. And I had no idea there was a problem until it was already solved.
It's when things go wrong that I'm reminded of the goodness in people - in friends and family who help and encourage me, and in complete strangers who are willing to stop what they are doing and reach out.
When I think about what could go wrong is when I try to control every situation and make sure my plans are accomplished. When things actually do go wrong is when I realize that I have no control, and I need to trust in God's goodness to sustain me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur." -Sarah Young
"Worry robs us of our confidence that God notices and cares about the details of our lives." -Renee Swope
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head." -Psalm 139:1-5
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Threshold
"God will never give you more than you can handle."
How many times have you heard that statement? I used to believe it.
But then I saw my friend lose first her dad, then her husband to cancer.
And I witnessed a coworker struggling with a chronic illness that caused her severe pain every day of her adult life.
I was amazed at their strength. But they themselves admitted they're not strong. They're simply choosing not be bitter, to rely on God, and to live their lives the best they can.
"God will never give you more than you can handle" is nowhere in the Bible. On the other hand, this is:
"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life... But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God" (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).
In the letter quoted here, Paul talks about how we share not only in Christ's blessings, but also His sufferings. Even Jesus, the Son of God, bore more suffering than he could handle (Matthew 26:36-46).
God will allow you to bear burdens that are heavier than you can manage, and that's when you'll know how much you need Him.
Here are some much more eloquent accounts of how much we can handle, and what happens when that threshold is surpassed:
God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it
Stephen Colbert loves the thing he most wishes had not happened
Run like Keith
"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4:7-9
How many times have you heard that statement? I used to believe it.
But then I saw my friend lose first her dad, then her husband to cancer.
And I witnessed a coworker struggling with a chronic illness that caused her severe pain every day of her adult life.
I was amazed at their strength. But they themselves admitted they're not strong. They're simply choosing not be bitter, to rely on God, and to live their lives the best they can.
"God will never give you more than you can handle" is nowhere in the Bible. On the other hand, this is:
"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life... But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God" (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).
In the letter quoted here, Paul talks about how we share not only in Christ's blessings, but also His sufferings. Even Jesus, the Son of God, bore more suffering than he could handle (Matthew 26:36-46).
God will allow you to bear burdens that are heavier than you can manage, and that's when you'll know how much you need Him.
Here are some much more eloquent accounts of how much we can handle, and what happens when that threshold is surpassed:
God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it
Stephen Colbert loves the thing he most wishes had not happened
Run like Keith
"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 4:7-9
Friday, July 17, 2015
MLK
Out of all the important people in history, I admire Martin Luther King, Jr. more than just about any of them. I came across these quotes of his today and thought they fit well with what I was trying to say in my last post:
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
The late night cornet player (living with love)
I often think about all of the problems in this world - hunger, poverty, oppression, pollution, violence, you name it - and know that as a human being, it is my responsibility to be part of the solution. There are larger than life people in this world who are taking huge steps to end child trafficking, to give the destitute tools they need to live a prosperous life, to introduce sustainable practices for a better future... Compared with them, I feel that I offer so little. Compared with the problems, I feel overwhelmed and don't even know where to begin.
But comparison is a big mistake. It's like looking in a distorted mirror, and it's not going to help me be a better person. Jesus made it simple. He said that the most important thing we can do is to love God and love those around us (Matthew 22:37-40). For some people, that means going to another country and rescuing people from slavery. But for the ordinary person, it relates to how we live each day:
Smile - yours might be the only friendly face someone sees all day.
Be patient - that slow cashier might be having a long, difficult day.
Forgive - that guy who cut you off on the highway might be rushing home to a crisis, or maybe he's dealing with anxiety issues you know nothing about.
Give unsolicited help.
If someone asks you for help, give it ungrudgingly.
Find a person or organization you believe in, and give to them generously - with your time or money.
Reach out to someone who is lonely, or bitter, or unfriendly.
Let me give you an example of the last point. When I moved to a new apartment with my husband after getting married, we noticed that a neighbor somewhere was playing Taps on his trumpet several times each night. At first, we thought it was kind of neat, but then it got annoying, especially when he played at 11 pm and woke us up from our sleep. Through talking with our landlord, we found out that this neighbor did not get along with another neighbor, and he played Taps every night in order to annoy her. After this bit of news, every time our neighbor played, I would seethe inside, asking myself how anyone could be so rude and immature.
However, I've learned that when I have a judgment against someone, if I make an effort to get to know them, I have a better understanding of where they're coming from, and I no longer feel the need to judge. I started feeling like my husband and I needed to go to this man's house and meet him, maybe befriend him. I kept pushing the thought away, but it kept coming back, and eventually I convinced my husband to join me. I made a fruit salad, and we walked to his house and knocked on the door. We were expecting a bitter, somewhat elderly man and his wife.
When the door opened, what we saw was a very old man with long white hair and a long white beard. He invited us in, and we spent at least a half hour talking. It turns out our neighbor is a World War II veteran who was a B-17 pilot. He lives all alone and has trouble finishing a story without losing his train of thought. He is a survivor, not only of the war, but of a stroke and a heart attack. He is bored and lonely, and one of the few things he still knows how to do is play his trumpet (actually, a cornet, as he explained to us). Yes, he does annoy one of our neighbors, and she did take him to court because of it, but I don't believe annoyance is his intention.
We visit our new friend every week or two. Every time we knock on his door, he comes to the window and waves at us, then invites us in with a smile and talks and talks for as long as he can to keep us there. We may not be saving lives, or impacting thousands, but I am encouraged to know that we are making a positive difference in this one person's life.
I'm happy to know that my smile, or kind words, or decision to stop and let the car in front of me merge may be making someone's day a little better. And to know that without people like me making donations, the people and organizations I support wouldn't be able to do the amazing work that they do.
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."
-Mother Teresa
But comparison is a big mistake. It's like looking in a distorted mirror, and it's not going to help me be a better person. Jesus made it simple. He said that the most important thing we can do is to love God and love those around us (Matthew 22:37-40). For some people, that means going to another country and rescuing people from slavery. But for the ordinary person, it relates to how we live each day:
Smile - yours might be the only friendly face someone sees all day.
Be patient - that slow cashier might be having a long, difficult day.
Forgive - that guy who cut you off on the highway might be rushing home to a crisis, or maybe he's dealing with anxiety issues you know nothing about.
Give unsolicited help.
If someone asks you for help, give it ungrudgingly.
Find a person or organization you believe in, and give to them generously - with your time or money.
Reach out to someone who is lonely, or bitter, or unfriendly.
Let me give you an example of the last point. When I moved to a new apartment with my husband after getting married, we noticed that a neighbor somewhere was playing Taps on his trumpet several times each night. At first, we thought it was kind of neat, but then it got annoying, especially when he played at 11 pm and woke us up from our sleep. Through talking with our landlord, we found out that this neighbor did not get along with another neighbor, and he played Taps every night in order to annoy her. After this bit of news, every time our neighbor played, I would seethe inside, asking myself how anyone could be so rude and immature.
However, I've learned that when I have a judgment against someone, if I make an effort to get to know them, I have a better understanding of where they're coming from, and I no longer feel the need to judge. I started feeling like my husband and I needed to go to this man's house and meet him, maybe befriend him. I kept pushing the thought away, but it kept coming back, and eventually I convinced my husband to join me. I made a fruit salad, and we walked to his house and knocked on the door. We were expecting a bitter, somewhat elderly man and his wife.
When the door opened, what we saw was a very old man with long white hair and a long white beard. He invited us in, and we spent at least a half hour talking. It turns out our neighbor is a World War II veteran who was a B-17 pilot. He lives all alone and has trouble finishing a story without losing his train of thought. He is a survivor, not only of the war, but of a stroke and a heart attack. He is bored and lonely, and one of the few things he still knows how to do is play his trumpet (actually, a cornet, as he explained to us). Yes, he does annoy one of our neighbors, and she did take him to court because of it, but I don't believe annoyance is his intention.
We visit our new friend every week or two. Every time we knock on his door, he comes to the window and waves at us, then invites us in with a smile and talks and talks for as long as he can to keep us there. We may not be saving lives, or impacting thousands, but I am encouraged to know that we are making a positive difference in this one person's life.
I'm happy to know that my smile, or kind words, or decision to stop and let the car in front of me merge may be making someone's day a little better. And to know that without people like me making donations, the people and organizations I support wouldn't be able to do the amazing work that they do.
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."
-Mother Teresa
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