I often come face-to-face with the reality that I don't have the strength, wisdom, grace, love, or ability in and of myself to do what God has called me to. The tasks He has placed before me are bigger than I am, and I know that only by His grace can I accomplish them. A prayer that has crossed my lips countless times over the last few years has been, "God, help me to be the teacher that my students need me to be for them."
But I am in the process of realizing that this is the wrong prayer. My pastor once said, "I can't do what I do as a pastor. I have to go in as a son." I am realizing that my instinctive prayer when I am feeling inadequate is a performance prayer. "Help me to be the teacher my students need me to be for them," places my identity in what I do. Yet if my identity is found, not in who I am or what I can do, but in Whose I am... that's what will give me the ability to rest in His love for me and just be.
Because the truth is that victory comes through being, not performing. He has already placed inside of me all that I need to overcome. He has filled my bank account with all the strength, wisdom, grace, love, and ability that I require. I can't make a withdrawal by tricks of persuasion or feats of strength. I can only make a withdrawal by knowing who I am well enough to sign my name.
Emily, Daughter of God.
"Now may the God of peace...equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ." ~Hebrews 13:20-21
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!..." ~1 John 3:1
No comments:
Post a Comment