Privilege

I grew up in privilege.

I wouldn’t consider my family rich. We worked hard for what we got and had to consider each expense. But I never wondered where my next meal was coming from. I always had safe and comfortable places in which to live and learn. I was surrounded by people who looked and talked like I did, and I never had to worry about being unfairly targeted because of the color of my skin.

Then I had the chance to study abroad, in Spain and Chile. My eyes were opened to the diversity of the world. I learned that there are different ways of thinking and living that are equally valid as mine. I also experienced for the first time the feeling of being an outsider because of the way I talked and the color of my skin.

After college, I headed to Honduras to teach, having no idea what I was getting myself into. I lived in a bug-infested house with an unreliable water source. But compared to my students, I was rich. I had electricity, internet, new clothes, and electronic devices. And most importantly, I always had the option of returning to my privileged lifestyle in the U.S.

After two and a half years in Honduras, I finally did decide that I couldn’t make my permanent home there. Back in Connecticut, I found myself teaching a fifth-grade class of immigrants. Children who were living in an unfamiliar land, learning an unfamiliar language, many of them separated from their families, most of them food insecure, and a few living in homeless shelters. In Honduras, I had seen first-hand the kind of poverty-stricken places they were leaving, and now I saw what their transition into the U.S. was like.

Fast forward to 2020. My husband and I have spent four years in California struggling to land permanent jobs, spending our money carefully. 2019 was a year of inexpressible financial and emotional hardship. But we had no idea how privileged we were until some names made their way into the national spotlight: Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. George Floyd. And people started speaking out. They have been speaking out, but this time I hear them. I knew that racism was still an issue. But I didn’t realize that the black men I know tread carefully, knowing they could be targeted at any moment because of the color of their skin. I didn’t realize that police shootings of black people are so common, and even after all of the protests and the awakening of our country, there are still new stories of police brutality against black people coming out on a regular basis – it’s incomprehensible.

I grew up with conservative values, but I've come to see that in general, people are conservative because they are comfortable with how society currently functions and are unaware of the injustices that support their lifestyles. For example, I've always felt that the police were there for my protection, but I've only recently realized that it's because I'm white. I didn't see that many perfectly decent people are actually in more danger when the police are around. I am not trying to discredit the police - I know police officers who are honorable and who are there to serve all. But the officers making the headlines are not just a few bad apples. They are part of a broken system that enables racism to thrive. 

I'm not saying that conservatives are wrong and liberals are right – I don’t even consider myself to be a member of either group. I believe that both sides have valid viewpoints and ideas, and we need to listen to each other. It's disheartening to see that politics has become “us vs. them”, and the other side is seen as the enemy, their opinions immediately discounted.

When it comes to immigration, the conservative viewpoint seems to be that if someone wants to immigrate to the US, they can come legally and work their way up the totem pole. People who see it as being this straightforward don't know the immigrants that I know. It is not always possible to come to the U.S. legally. It’s not always possible to stay legally, even though they may be highly skilled and educated, seeking work. And immigrants certainly don’t come close to having the same opportunities that citizens do. The immigration system is broken and needs reform. My husband was able to obtain citizenship legally as an immigrant just this past year, but it was a long, difficult, expensive process made possible only because of certain privileges he inherited and opportunities that came his way.

I have woken up from my privileged stupor, and I am angry at the injustices that exist and the inability of Republicans and Democrats to work together to find common sense solutions. I don’t really know what to do, but I am committed to listening and continuing to learn how other people live and what they see. I was so enlightened by this six-minute video of a black woman describing the plight of black Americans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llci8MVh8J4&t=7s

I am encouraged that many people have newly committed themselves to listen to the stories of others who experience life differently. I just wish that everyone would take this stance.